Do you ever feel completely unseen and undervalued – like you’re not even in the room?  Say hello to Invisible Woman Syndrome!

The "invisible woman syndrome" can be a pervasive experience for many ladies, leaving any one of them feeling irrelevant, unseen, and undervalued in society. This emotionally draining phenomenon often leads to feelings of loneliness, disconnection, and unfulfillment. It knows no bounds of age, striking whether one feels invisible after 40 or at 60. Whether in the workplace, where one may feel as insignificant as a fly on the wall, or in one's personal life, such as walking into a restaurant and being utterly overlooked, the sense of invisibility can make even the best of us feel insecrue, irrelevant and, frustrated. 

A couple of years ago, I experienced this "invisible feeling" at a restaurant. Now, up until this point, I had never felt invisible. But then one day, at that one particular restaurant, SHAZAMM, it hit me. As soon as I walked inside – the Invisible Woman Syndrome came at me with a vengance.  I was completely ignored. And that was a shocker!  

I couldn’t figure out what was going on. So I started watching the employees and guests at the restaurant, to see if they were treating everyone the same rude way, or, were they just ignoring me. 

Truth Alert - The only time the wait staff - male and female - paid attention to anyone was then their eyes landed on a 30 something beauty. 

And I thought ‘WOW’ and started to chuckle as I paitiently waited for my friends to arrive so we could get our party started.

Even though I wasn't destroyed by that experience, as soon as I got home that night,  I decided to be really honest with myself, take a good hard look at me, and think about WHY I was feeling irrelevant AND invisible.  This is what came up for me...

• What was going on my my life at that time?
• Was I giving "it' permission to take charge of my life?
• Have I given up?   Is my why big enough? Do I even want it?  
• Are there any personal areas where I needed to step up and make some changes so I feel better about me?  If so, what steps can I take
• Take a chance and own who I am, warts and all, and embrace every part me.  

And once I went though the list above, and took action,  things started to shift, I started stepping out into the world, and little by little, I was getting noticed again.  I was no longer feeling invisible.

It was during this time that I started hearing the terms “The Invisible Woman’s Syndrome for women over 50”,  and "Feeling Invisible" floating around.   So, I did a little research.

While it's common for women to feel that this invisibility is tied to their age and appearance, it's important to recognize that it's not just an age-related issue. In fact, feelings of invisibility can affect women of all ages and can be the result of a variety of factors, including societal biases and internalized beliefs about one's worth.

And I am here to tell you that age doesn't matter and your looks don’t have to be fleeting - as you have the knowledge  and power to turn back the aging clock.    But at the end of the day, what everyone will remember, and always pay attention to, is the positive emotional energy, the good vibes you exude, when you walk into the room.

So, if you want to be visible and be seen, it all starts with you, your self-worth, and how you feel about yourself – no matter what age you are, no matter what job you have or do not have, no matter your clothes or your weight.

And when you have that self-love going on, you will light up a room, and have people flocking to you, like bees to honey, wanting to know your secret.

So how can women increase their confidence level, their self-worth, to break free from this cycle of feeling invisible? Check out some of the things I did and still do today:

1. Practice self-care: Make an effort to do good things for yourself! Things that make you feel alive and good. This could be anything from coffee dates with your friends, getting regular exercise and eating beauty building foods (rather than beauty destroying fods) to taking up a new hobby or booking a spa day – and that means either at home with DIY treatments or letting someone else pamper you at a day spa.

2. Reframe your mindset: Instead of focusing on what you can't do, what you don't have, or what you think others expect of you, focus on what you can do and what you want to achieve. This shift in perspective is what set me free and hopefully it will do the same for you. If not, reach out to a friend, an emotional support person, or contact me via my website, Kellieolver.com, put the letters SOS in the message box, and I will get back to you.

3. Update your look: It's not about trying to look younger, (although nothing wrong with that either) but rather about finding styles that make you feel good, confident and comfortable in your own skin. This could involve updating your wardrobe or trying a new haircut or makeup routine. Heck, after the restaurant's “illuminating experience” I went to Sephora for a new make-up look, and as soon as I walked out the door I felt better, I think I looked better and definately had more confidence.

4. Get involved: Find causes or activities that you're passionate about and start doing, rather than sitting back and waiting for things to change. This could be volunteering, joining a club or organization, or taking up a new hobby.

5. Seek out supportive friendships: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you feel seen and valued. This could be old friends or new ones that you meet through your interests and activities.

6. Seek out mentors: Find role models or mentors who can provide guidance and support as you navigate your next chapter.

7. Take a class or learn a new skill: Keeping your mind active and learning new things can help boost your confidence and sense of purpose.

8. Travel: Exploring new places and trying new things can help broaden your horizons and give you a fresh perspective on life.

9. Practice gratitude: Focusing on the things that you are thankful for can help shift your mindset and bring a sense of positivity and joy.

10.  Use your imagination and visualize in technicolor what you want and where you want to be for the rest of your life. Studies show that using your imagination lights up a part of your brain to think you already have it.  And when you do,  be on the lookout for all the goodies coming your way.

Remember, you are worthy, loveable and, deserving of being seen (and valued), no matter your age or circumstances. Embrace your unique strengths and experiences, and don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and  try new things. You are capable of making a positive impact on the world and living a happy and  fulfilling life. So, don't let feelings of invisibility hold you back.

You and your imagination have the power to change your destiny.   Please, step up and step out into the world and let your amazing you shine thru. 

Till next time, 

Kellie Olver, Ageless Skin Academy